i got a five dollar lap dance from a young lady dressed as sexy santa on the south side of flint over on saginaw street somewhere. it was the day shift on monday a scrawny looking dude with a goatee and ball cap checked our id’s and charged us the 3 dollar cover charge to get in. he smoked a cigarette and looked like a carnie. a fat mixed girl grinded out some old white dudes lap straing at us the whole time with “fuck me” eyes and a black and mild dangling from her mouth. some r and b song was playing i don’t remember which. the security gaurd was sitting in a chair in the middle of the empty bar getting dances from a stripper who looked about 40 and a random black dude sat in the far corner under the tv and stared at us.
we were shooting pool when sexy santa approached. she was hounding my cousin for a dance. he’s married and doesnt get dances. he’s a good dude. she was half way through her newport 100 when she gave up on him and started in on me. she stunk like smoke and pussy and cheap ass victoria secret’s body spray, some type of fruit i couldn’t pin it down. she looked like wesley snipes in the face circa passanger 57. she said she’d give the winner a dance. i agreed. it’s christmas what the hell, let’s stimulate the economy. i was waiting for the fat mixed girl to get done with the old dude, she was squatting down simulating a blow job through his pants. she looked like a glob of peanut butter all brown and sloppy and fun.
i lost at pool but got the dance anyway. it was 5 for the front in the chair, 10 for the side and 15 for v.i.p. in the back room, she dropped a hint about a blowjob. i went with the 5 dollar dance. i was just doing this so she would leave me alone while i waited for the big mixed girl. i sat down some rock song came on and i sat there and took it. she grinded her ass on my chest and exposed herself to me, repeatedly. why she thought i wanted her ass rubbed across my chest and belly escapes me. the song finally finished and i got up before she could start in on another one. my cuz was getting whooped in pool by the 40 year old and i stunk like cheap whore all over my brand new brooks brothers sweater. we cut our losses and bailed. there’s a couple things you can take from this. 1. you get what you pay for and 2. dont wear your nice shit when you go to play with the poor kids.
seriously the city looks like a fuckin bomb hit it.