That shit’s so 10 years ago
I was fucking around online the other day and my home-girl hit me up, talking about, “I’m scared this guy I’m dating has the Yellow Fever.”
I said, “They still got that tacky shit? I thought that shit went out in 03.”
“It’s still here and I think he’s got it.”
Turns out he’s a doctor in Oriental Medicine and the last few chick he’s fucked wit have been Asian or as she put it, azn.
That’s got her nervous.
I said, “That motherfucker’s got Yellow Fever like a motherfucker, but what do you care if he treats you good?”
She said she ain’t wanna be fetishized.
Fair enough. She don’t wanna be a fetish that’s cool.
But for all that tough talk, I betcha she’s still fucking wit his ass.
I was talking to Alice and Natasha about it on the way home last night, them being Asian and all, I asked them what they thought of Yellow Fever. Then like what I always do, don’t give ‘em a chance to talk and say my shit first.
I said, “For white dudes, I think it’s for cats that wanna get them a minority to fuck with that’s not too threatening. They can’t deal wit no black chick or a Mexican chola, so they get them a little Asian broad. All the stereotypes about Asian chicks play to them being submissive and shit.”
Alice adds, “And that they got tight little sideways pussies.”
I’m like, “Yup, you right.”
Now I know all that shit’s a lie cuz I’ve seen motherfuckers get cheated on, then gutted in the divorce by their so called “submissive” Asian wives. And one of the biggest pussies I ever had the displeasure of sticking my dick into, belonged to a 5 foot nothing, Chinese broad from Flint. Point is, females are females. But it ain’t what I know to be true, it’s what they think to be true.
Alice goes, “In a class I took back in college, they discussed the points that many white men felt like they had no culture of their own and liked the idea of having this exotic Asian woman to give them that culture that they lacked. To cook those Asian dishes in the home, to speak another language and so on.”
I’m like, “That’s what I was talking about, they want that minority. They want that different culture and to them, Asian’s like the safest one. But the thing is, white people got culture. It’s just white culture.”
Natasha’s like, “What? Hot dogs and hamburgers and macaroni and cheese?”
I’m like, “Yeah, cats need to claim that shit. Embrace that shit. Revel in that shit. My culture’s the shit my grandma gave me, my nonnie gave me, our family traditions, all that. That’s culture. The shit yall eat, that is your hot dogs and hamburgers. Back home that’s your norm. That’s yall culture. The idea that whites or Americans have no culture cuz it’s not foreign, annoys the shit outta me.”
Now grant it, I get it, they’re shit’s new to me so it’s more exotic, like last night they had me eating some sauce that tasted like bad pussy, but it ain’t better than my shit it’s just different.
I remember back in the day, I’m gettin’ Thai food with Chiko, my lesbian midget Japanese homie and this white girl she was fucking at the time. I order Pad Thai and the white chick’s got the nerve to say, “Oh, you’re so white.”
What cuz I ordered Pad Thai? Cuz that’s some common shit? I fucking like Pad Thai. Now I’m so white? You know why I’m so white? Because I am fuckin white. And she was too. And it didn’t matter how much Japanese pussy or Larb Gai she ate, she was gonna stay white.
This ain’t Avatar where if you fuck somebody enough and learn to ride the dragon you get to change races. I used to see white girls back home in Pontiac driving around with Mexican flags hanging from their rear-views, like they were Mexican.
Pathetic.
Bitch you ain’t Mexican. You just fuck Mexican. That don’t make you Mexican.
I’m all for digging other cultures, shit look at me, look how I speak, look where I work. But it’s not at the expense of my own culture.
And maybe I feel so secure in my own shit because of my ethnocentric father screaming at me to, “Stop talkin’ black, you’re fucking Italian!”
And banging it into my head to be proud I’m Italian, and maybe I don’t have that little hole in my heart to fill. I’m here to tell you, none of you got that hole to fill. You got culture. Rep your shit man, love yourself. And if you wanna fuck an Asian broad do it cuz she’s the shit, not because she represents some exotic leaning you have.
And if you must must must get you some different culture pussy because you’re so fucking shallow, leave them Asian chicks alone, they’re getting paranoid. Get you a Black Canadian, they got all the color with half the anger of a Black American one.
