20 dollar bags
i was on planes this weekend. i hosted a show for the homie hex. he had a stroke. he’s getting better but these medical bills are gonna rape him so, cat’s got together and performed and raised some money and it was good. i could go on and on about the criminals that we call doctors and how crooked our medical system is with their 100 dollar asprin tablets and useless tests but that’s another post.
what i’m here to talk to you about today is airplanes. yes, airplanes. something happened these past few years where the airlines haven’t been able to make the money they usually make, so instead of restructuring shit and firing people that aren’t doing their job right and trimming the fat and having these CEO’s take a pay cut or skip a bonus they do what they usually do, pass that shit on down to us. so now when i fly spirit airlines instead of getting a free pop or even a water or a bag of pretzels, i can buy some cup-o-noodles and a coke for 5 dollars, classy. a motherfucking cup of noodles, like i’m in a dorm room but i can’t say shit cuz i keep seeing these chicks roll onto the plane in their pajamas, i know that shit was all the rage in college but this ain’t college and it was tacky then and it’s tacky now. i digress we were talking about airlines and how they nickle and dime you to make more money instead of just running a tight ship to make more money. also on spirit air along with some other airlines, you buy a ticket on line for a set price, but if you want to……i don’t know, pick where you sit, they charge you another 15 dollars, cha ching. nickle and dime you to death, they will. here’s my favorite: instead of allowing you one 50 lb bag to check for free, like they used to do in the good ol’ days, they charge 20 bucks a bag.
here’s my problem with the 20 bucks a bag thing, these assholes in upper management didn’t really think this out. i got no problem with charging for bags, fuck it, you charge for everything else don’t you? plus i see motherfuckers getting execessive with their travel needs, if they wanna bring all that shit, make ‘em pay. who cares, you don’t like it, travel light. the problem is, they didn’t for see people not wanting to pay 20 bucks to check some shit but not wanting to travel light so now we got people bringing on 3 carry-on bags on flight rolling like some fucking gypsys and no one at the gate is policing this.
i flew delta/northwest yesterday. we loaded onto the plane on time, 45 minutes before take off actually, but we didn’t fly out that bitch till 30 minutes after we were supposed to leave. why? because motherfuckers were bringing fuckin suitcases on the flight trying to jam them into the over head. the chick in front of me, some jappy bitch, had the nerve to stroll on that motherfucker, with a roll on suitcase, a grocery bag of food, a garment bag, her coat, and a giant purse, then held up the line as she tried to wedge here 2 foot suitcase into a 6 inch space. the whole time the stewardess sat there and said nothing. me, i had put my fucking man-purse in first class because there wasn’t enough room in the overhead bin above me. sweet. here’s the cherry on top, when we land in LA, late, because of our late take off, somebody opens up the overhead bin across from me and it was stuffed so full, that luggage comes spilling out and knocks out some middle aged dude behind me. the guy got knocked out by a bag. when i left him he was mumbling and shaking with his eyes shut.
if you’re gonna have corporate greed, do it right, have a stewardess standing at the door of the plane counting bags and making motherfuckers with too much luggage check that shit. it’ll be quicker and safer in the long run. and while i’m at it, why don’t you airlines start charging fat motherfuckers more to fly. you’ll make money off of that, there’s tons of fat asses in america. if i gotta sit next to another fat bastard with his arms and tummy spilling out into my seat i’m gonna scream.
were we always such a low quality, low class, inept country? has our product always sucked or is it just getting worse and worse by the day? it seems like we are rotting from the inside.
